Bumper stickers confuse, yet intrigue me.
Why, for example, would anyone feel the need the need to advertise that they heart their English Springer Spaniel? Does such a person live in the eternal hope that another English Springer Spaniel fan will see their bumper sticker, and approach them in the parking lot of a CVS for some mutual English Springer Spaniel bonding?
The worst are the politically themed bumper stickers. You love the president, you hate the president, whatever your position. There are people out there, driving cars — half of them completely insane — who possess the polar opposite point of view. At best, you’re going to get cut off in traffic. A lot. At worst, someone is going to want you to participate in a reenactment of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Why risk it?
And then there are the people who like to express lots and lots of points of view. They think Mean People Suck, and love Nine Inch Nails, and are pro-recycling, and want Calvin to urinate on all Ford trucks, and are fond of their granddogs, and believe that the defense department should be holding bake sales to raise money.
These drivers are giving away a lot of information about themselves. I have close friends who don’t know half as much about me.
Shouldn’t we be playing a little harder to get? I may — or may not — have run a marathon. I may — or may not — have a child who is an honor student. I may — or may not — be carrying a concealed handgun.
Wouldn’t you like to know?