Check out our new kitchen chairs . . .

I don’t know if George and I are hip enough to own something so freaking cool.

Well, actually, I’m pretty sure I’m hip enough . . .

Today’s Subject: Children’s Nutrition
Instant Mac n’ Cheese
Made with whole organic milk:
Now it is healthy.
* * *
Green beans are ignored
I will not eat broccoli
Eschewing the peas
* * *
So what if I loved
Pasta and sauce yesterday?
Today I hate it.

. . . usually means that Sam’s doing something bad.

So what do ya’ll think?

Sam and Kate are following me around the house, looking at me expectantly.
It’s freaking me out, man.
Even worse, I’ve got some stupid Wiggles’ song stuck in my head:
Quack, quack, quack, quack, Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Bunch of Aussie sadists. That DVD is going back to the library, tout fucking suite.

Kate has a crush . . . on my new shag area rug.

It must be true love, because she peed on it yesterday.
The carpet is made from the wool of Greek sheep (no, I’m not kidding . . . you should smell it when it gets wet), so I’m thinking that maybe it’s about time I have a sit-down with Kate and go over the birds and the bees (the dogs and the sheep?) with her.
Thank God she’s been spayed so I don’t have to have the birth control talk with her . . . that would just be embarrassing.

As I’ve mentioned here before, one of Sam’s favorite new words is dirty. If that alone weren’t bad enough, he’s now become deeply attached to the Swiffer mop. He trots around the house pushing it front of him, while singing, “Dir-ty! Dir-ty!” like some sort of a Stepford Baby.
I know he didn’t get this from my side of the family.

Today’s theme: Calgon Take Me Away
Laundry – I despair
Towering mountain of clothes
Which then I must fold
* * *
What is that I smell
From yonder child’s bottom?
We’re out of wet wipes . . .
* * *
O! Baby Einstein
I fall on my knees with thanks
A moment of peace

A cautionary tale of what happens to a rock star who has an inflated sense of self-importance but hasn’t had a hit song in over a decade: George Michael bids farewell to pop world.
Say it ain’t so. Next you’re going to tell me the guys from Right Said Fred of “I’m Too Sexy” fame are calling it quits.
*sob*

A star is born.