The good news: Tonight is the long awaited premiere for the final season of Lost!

The bad news: It’s been so long since the show was on the air, I can’t remember a damn thing that’s happened.

I have a vague recollection of half of the Losties living in the 70′s and driving around in VW vans, and the other half of them purposely re-crashing on the island. And Jin can suddenly speak English. But that’s about it.

My one request: Please end the Kate-Sawyer-Jack triangle now. In fact, feel free to kill off Kate and Jack. Have them gobbled up by the smoke monster or taken out by a rogue Hurley. Just leave Sawyer to battle it out with John or Ben, or whoever the current baddie is going to be. Or, better yet, have Hurly emerge as the new ass-kicking leader.

More Hurley. Less Kate. That’s what the people want.

I suppose on a cold, rainy day there’s nothing to do but stay at home and shop online play Wii Mario Kart work.

But tell me this: If domesticated dogs really are descended from wolves, why are they so opposed to peeing on wet grass?