I had the following conversation with an extremely grumpy Starbucks barista.

Me: I’d like a grande iced Americano with no water and extra ice.
Her: That’s not an Americano.
Me: Excuse me?
Her: If you don’t add water, it’s not an Americano. It’s just shots of espresso in a cup.
Me: Yes, that’s what I’d like. With lots of ice. Please.
Her: {Gives me a hard stare.}
Me: Is there a problem? I order this all the time.
Her: If there’s no water added, it’s not an Americano.
Me: But the espresso melts the ice and turns it into water.
Her: I know what happens to ice when it melts.
Me: And I don’t want extra water added, because then it’s too watery.
Her: But then it’s Not. An. Americano.
Me: Okay. Um. I guess I’m not seeing what the issue is here. Can you just make it for me the way I asked?
Her: Fine. What-ever.

She then huffed, and muttered under her breath, and stomped around, and finally, thumped my beverage on the counter.

I was totally going to say, Thank you for the AMERICANO, but chose to rise above. Also, I was a little worried she’d remember me and spit in my drink the next time I came in.